Alcohol Support Groups for the Modern Age
The case for offline support
First let's consider why a sober rebel might need a support group at all. If post-alcohol living is all about sharing positivity can't we just do that in a social setting with other sober rebels, or online?
Well, although we share a positive outlook that doesn't mean it's all plain sailing. Living life AF (alcohol free) can be hugely rewarding but doesn't come without it's challenges. We sometimes have to deal with uncomfortable emotions that we have no easy escape from and are not used to having to deal with. While for some online support may be enough, for others there is no substitute for face-to-face interaction. That's why it's so important suitable options for offline support exist too.
While a support group is bound to mean different things to different people I have found one characteristic that seems to me to be crucial. A support group should be a place where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. In return for this we are offered the opportunity to experience the vulnerability in others.
This shared vulnerability engenders compassion and camaraderie and provides a foundation for us to speak more honestly and openly about our challenges, triumphs, thoughts and feelings. Through sharing and listening we find that we are not alone in our struggles and nor are we incapable of overcoming them. We take inspiration from others' achievements and draw courage from their humility. When it works well it's as if there is magic in the room. It's a powerful tonic!
A new outlook
Our support groups are all about discovery, not recovery. We don't see ourselves as battling addiction. Instead we are working to change our core beliefs around alcohol.
It's about deprogramming from firmly established convictions. For instance, that alcohol is essential for our happiness and/or confidence. And it’s about challenging societal myths, voices that tell us life without alcohol will be grey, boring and lonely.
We learn from each other that post-alcohol living can be a wonderful adventure and that the things we thought were impossible are achievable. With this shift in thinking we free ourselves from the limitations the recovery mindset imposes.
So how does it work in practice?
Members are invited to bring topics for discussion. Topics could be around the practicalities of post-alcohol living; anything from how to navigate going AF with friends and colleagues, to sober dating. They could also be around coping with negative emotions you can no longer numb, like self-talk, perfectionism, anger or self-doubt. Other topics could be around reinforcing the positive aspects of post-alcohol living and the endless possibilities it brings. Or it could just be that you had a really shitty day and want to offload.
Have a think about which topic/s you want to discuss beforehand. It would be great if you could bring one or two along with you. It's not compulsory though. You're more than welcome to sit and listen, if you prefer.
Remember this is not about giving each other advice. It's about exchanging ideas. Let's allow each other to draw our own conclusions. We are adults and are capable of working out what's best for ourselves.
No Facilitators
We won't be using facilitators. Topic owners will facilitate the discussion around their own topics. That means when the group is discussing your topic you're free to keep the discussion moving as you see fit. This way we take it in turns to hold the reins. No single member becomes too powerful.
Community
We all need to feel part of a community. That's part of the human condition; we are tribal creatures. When we feel isolated life can be tough. That's why we see the fusion between support and community as crucial. We'll always try to hold our support groups in or near a café or AF bar, with some social time afterwards.
Evolution
Blossom Rebels is in its infancy and will evolve. We are always open to trying new ideas and formats. Only by experimentation will we arrive at the best possible formula. If you have any feedback we'd love to hear from you!
I’ll be speaking at our Limelight Talk on February 19th, New Models For Sober Living, with special guests Laura Willoughby MBE from Club Soda and Dr Emily Nicholls. Our support groups start on Monday 20th January in London.